I am always sad to see weekends come to a close. Today is different. Today I am dreadful about what I will face tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, the next day or the next week, etc.
I'm not talking about the amount of work or the commute or missing Emma. I'm talking about ... well, things I probably shouldn't blog about.
I feel like there is a vendetta against me ... by someone I used to look up to, aspire to, really admire in every way. As each day passes, my attitude continues to go south. It isn't fair to others around me, but, I think, mostly it's not fair to me.
With that said, I know I'm not perfect, but I do the best I can. If it's not good enough, I'm ready to move on, and I hope that can happen one way or another.
I used to be a happy person with dreams. I will return, but I have to figure out how to get away from this situation. The sooner the better.
Tonight, before I go to bed, I am trying to psyhe myself up. The problem is, I keep thinking that no matter how I act, there is potential for negative vibes in my direction. How do I avoid this? I do I make it different?
I'm going to try to keep my mouth closed, my head down, do the best I can, and go from there. At the same time, I have to stand up for myself. I am hoping that I am blowing this out of proportion. I know I'm not, though.
I'm anxious to see what will happen next. Something has to change.
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